What I really want to talk about is editing. I am Irish. LOL. That is the first thing that popped into my head after "I am ..." and so I typed it. Now I must edit.
I am Irish.
I am __________.
In that sense, I must delete something to correct it. That's one of the ways I feel edit in my bones today. I must delete some things in my life in order to align it correctly. The process started in Ireland (and even previously in Scotland) with my past. I erased ties to previous elements in my life that no longer suited me.
I remember the first one ... I was about to text my former fiance when I felt God's hand as if on my shoulder as if to restrain me. I obeyed. I probably wrote about the details of it then, but I knew I was not to reach out to him again. Our friendship had stayed strong despite our romance ending by choice, so it was not unusual for either one of us to text. But that day, it cut to my heart because I felt like I should delete his contact info from my phone and all past interactions. That ... was ... hard. But I did it.
The more recent trip to Ireland touched directly on my past in ways no one could manufacture. It was a step-by-step process of renouncing former vows (two, husband and fiance) and announcing my betrothal to the Lord and "His land" (meaning His plan for me, kind of like the Promised Land). It also carried the essense of Fort Dunadd from the Scotland trip where I put my foot in the stone that early kings used when coronated to declare their betrothal to the land.
Now that I am back home with a clean slate, I have been spinning my wheels a bit. A friend recently texted me about what she perceived about a "neutral gear" that's not measurable for the gifts and anointing God has given me. Then today, she shared more that made it all click in the context of a car and being in gear.
So what this all means to me is that in order to align with God's plan, there's some editing to be done! I get that, of course, being a writer. There can be good things in a book or article that are not aligned with "something" ... style guide, grammar, even purpose. Sometimes culling away less strong points helps the focus of the article shine. That's kind of what I feel like right now.
For decades, I've been somewhat at the "beck and call" of others. There were plenty of demands on me! Critical ones. After the discovery of my former husband's pedophilia and extreme manipulation, it was both a relief and a challenge. No wonder I had not thrived! I had an opportunity for a clean slate then.
I complicated that by a new relationship a year later, one that we could never seem to make right no matter how much we tried. In the meantime, the kids were going through their own crises. We were all quite broken.
After that ended, I was still open to relationships, which brought a whole new level and breadth of hurt. *sigh*
All that went by the wayside somewhere in 2016, and the last nine years have been ones of getting back on track. And now for the first time in my life, I have no obligation to anyone under my roof nor to an external schedule-based job. It is all right here—God and me.
So ... this is my "right now" challenge. Edit. Simple? I suppose it could be. It also feels quite complex. What all must I know to align to? In the writing world, it's massive. I suppose in my world, it should be simple. So I'm about to set myself to know what that is, cut away what doesn't belong, and focus on the main purpose. :-)
edit* (verb) ed·it ˈe-dət
transitive verb
1 a : to prepare (something, such as literary material) for publication or public presentation
b : to assemble (something, such as a moving picture or tape recording) by cutting and rearranging
c : to alter, adapt, or refine especially to bring about conformity to a standard or to suit a particular purpose
2 : to direct the publication of
3 : delete —usually used with out
4 : to modify a gene or gene product of by inserting, deleting, or replacing DNA sequences
*"edit." Merriam-Webster.com. (4 April 2025).
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